The Fine Print

Terms of Understanding.

A handshake would do. But the lawyers insisted.

I. The Understanding

By using GetAGoomar.com, you acknowledge that this is a work of parody, that you are 18 or older, and that whatever you are doing here is between you, your conscience, and possibly Saint Anthony.

II. Conduct

Be respectful. Be discreet. Do not screenshot. Do not forward. Do not, under any circumstances, bring up somebody else's business at Sunday dinner.

III. Accounts

One account per person. If you must have two, at least use different photos. We are not going to explain why.

IV. Payments

All subscriptions are billed under "Nonna's Kitchen Subscription." Refunds are considered, contemplated, and usually granted, provided you ask politely.

V. Termination

We reserve the right to terminate any account for cause, including but not limited to: rudeness, greed, gossip, being cheap on the check, or wearing gym clothes to a nice restaurant.

VI. Liability

We are not responsible for what happens after two glasses of wine. We are also not responsible for what your cousin overheard.

VII. Governing Law

These terms are governed by the laws of the state you are in, the neighborhood you grew up in, and whatever your mother said last.