Consigliere of Customer Care
You listen. You nod. You return the call. Fluent in silence.
Remote (mostly)
Full-time
The Family Business
Health, dental, unlimited espresso. Sundays are always off.
You listen. You nod. You return the call. Fluent in silence.
Remote (mostly)
Full-time
Write recipes convincing enough to pass a spouse test. Must know the difference between sauce and gravy and never take a side.
Nonna's Kitchen HQ
Full-time
Ship features that leave no trace. Bonus for prior work in privacy, cryptography, or magic.
Undisclosed
Full-time
You know a guy. You know a girl. You know a table for two at 8:30 on a Wednesday.
New York / New Jersey
Full-time
Fifty new alibis per month, all plausible, none involving airports.
Freelance
Contract
You cook. You judge. You approve matches on vibes alone. Not currently accepting applications — the seat is filled.
The Kitchen
Lifetime appointment
All applicants must pass the Sunday Dinner Interview.