The House
The Rules.
Privacy is a sign of respect. Here is how we keep it that way.
Fig. I — an introduction, respectfully arranged.
- 01
Discreet by Design
Profiles are protected, conversations are private, and suspicious notification previews are replaced with harmless messages about tomato sauce.
- 02
Culturally Compatible
Connect with people who understand loud families, long dinners, unsolicited relationship advice, and the importance of a proper Sunday gravy.
- 03
Verified Italians
Complete our humorous Italian Verification: regional food, hand gestures, and the correct response when someone refuses another plate.
- 04
No Judgment
Everyone has a story. We do not ask questions. We especially do not ask questions in front of your mother.
- 05
Private Introductions
Members send discreet invitations rather than obvious dating-app notifications. Nothing pings. Nothing pops.
- 06
The Panic Button
One tap turns the entire site into Nonna's Kitchen — a recipe blog. You were just looking for Sunday gravy.
The Alibi Generator
A story, ready to go.
- ›Helping my uncle move a refrigerator.
- ›At a very important plumbing estimate.
- ›Picking up pastries for the family.
- ›Dealing with a situation at the social club.
- ›The Lincoln Tunnel was unbelievable.
Discreet Notifications
Nothing on the lock screen.
- ›Fantasy Football Update
- ›Local Weather Alert
- ›Dry Cleaning Ready
- ›Your Sauce Recipe Has Been Saved
- ›Cousin Anthony Sent a Document
Compatibility Test
Sauce, or gravy?
- ›Sauce or gravy?
- ›How long is an acceptable Sunday dinner?
- ›Is it ever appropriate to break spaghetti?
- ›What does "we'll talk later" mean?
- ›How many times must you refuse food before accepting?
- ›How quickly must you leave when someone says, "I'm not asking again"?
Result: Approved by Nonna · Made in Heaven · Proceed With Caution